• Dont forget it is just a game!

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    By Judy


    By Judy
    I was thinking of signing-up to eharmony. After reading the blogs I am wondering if I would be better off alone. Not only does it sound like a lot of hard work these days to meet a man and enjoy a relationship but it sounds very stressful.How do I know how to behave anymore - what is acceptable and what is not these days? How much grief am I letting myself in for because I don't know the rules anymore?

    Likes and dislikes between men and women have gone on since Man/Woman evolved - why the dramas now. You either like or dislike a potential partner - most can tell in the first meeting. Just don't meet again if you don't like or have doubt.Stop complaining if your date is not right. Move on. Doesn't that rule apply anymore?

    As for a man pursuing the woman - well guys - Does the peahen not wait to be lured by the peacock still? Demonstrating your interst and pursing is the way to win a lady, so I thought, anyway. It shows you care and shows your level of interest.Just as opening car doors demonstrates respect. Appropriately complimenting means you noticed. A box of chocolates and roses means you are sensual. Allowing the lady to walk before you through a doorway, for example, is the same as opening a car door. Dressing well means you have self respect and pride and the same for your date and says you expect the same of the lady(respect and pride for herself and you). Taking the lady out to respectable places for a meal and a show says you feel the women is worth your time and spending the money. All old fashioned, but still highly regarded by the women of all ages I speak with anyway. Once when men and women seemed to come together with a degree of understanding - few went on being lonely or alone. Social mores have changed but I don't think people's feelings, needs and desires have.A man once had his lady's undying undying respect and love if the man treated her well and while she may not always buy the coffee or call the man every other time at first, there are other benefits to securing the lady as a partner, such as caring for her man, doing for him, sharing with him all that came with being in a relationship - including the hard times and a shoulder for her man when he is hurting, frustrated, tired or just in need of mothering sometimes. Of course, it worked the other way too, and the man was the protector and the strong shoulder. She would be her man's everything if he want her to be. A woman needs to know that she is the centre of her man's Universe when first courting/dating - the man would be the centre of hers there after (providing he went on showing that she is special to him). How hard is that? What has changed? Women are still women and men are still men, aren't they? Women will tell their a man that he looks great and tell him about the things they like about him when they feel that the man is for them. Not only that but a man's partner will do her best to ensure that he goes on looking good; supports the man in his endevours endevours and she will compliment her man by looking good for him and being a part of whatever he does in his life (if it is not over-the-top activity and so forth).So asking her first is the polite and respectful thing to do. She may not say she has concerns about, for example, an activity the man participates in for fear of upsetting her man - so by the man asking shows he respects her feelings about what it is he does. On the other hand, if the woman expresses concern, the man may feel the woman is a nag, or will try to change him from liking that activity and so forth. It takes a modecom of maturity for the couple and communication.

    Communication: Doesn't it still apply that if you don't know then ask - to assume is arragant and selfish. Think about how you would feel in the other person's shoes; call if you are going to be late; and all the other common courtesies of being thoughtful about someone else as well as yourself.

    As for being a women well,I hold old fashion views again: holding a conversation without swearing or being crude is not that hard and use not to come naturally; dressing appropriately and without showing too much torso skin (breasts, buttocks and abdomen) was a sign of self respect and respect for people around you, besides it doesn't leave much to the imaginagion and earns disrespect. Being polite and respectful used to show a level of common decency, for example if a man asked a lady on a dinner date and pays for the meal he would not expect to get any more than a kiss and a cuddle afterwards ('thoug he might), but he would expect a 'thank you'and to know if the lady liked him enough to meet him again.That is not too much to ask and is communicating the lady has some positive feeling for him and compliments him for pleasing the lady.

    It seems I must be a dinosaur. I expect too much from a man so it would seem from the blogs. I am too afraid now that I might do something wrong on a date by expecting a man to pay for the coffee or hold the door open for me. Will I wait by the phone to hear from him or do I call him (once thought 'pushy'), etc.I fear dating sites are not for me.No doubt if there are comments to this, they will reflect what I believe. I would love to be proven wrong.

    Credit: umad-dating-advices.blogspot.com

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