Hi. Sorry about this post being rather long. I just really needed to explain everything.
Last fall I was, in short, very unhappy and somewhat lonely. Not helping the situation, I had always been attracted to other girls and the odds of finding a girl who I got on well with and also actually liked seemed quite slim, so I mostly resigned myself to being alone forever.
A strange thing happened though. One day when I was walking to class I stopped to help a bug that had been stranded on its back and a guy approached me and we had a brief conversation as we walked in the same direction. ( I found out he lived in the apartment next door).
I continued to run into this guy and I found out we had a lot in common. He expressed that he was interested in me, and I more or less awkwardly said I was interested in girls. We kept hanging out and I noticed things began to get more physical. After about two months we were having sex. I started out doing this because I was bored and unhappy, and because I liked helping him because he said he had been trying to find a girlfriend and had never had one before.
Eventually his positivity and confidence made me start to feel better. I all of a sudden I felt like the sun was always shining and I started to like myself a little more.
Now we've been dating for about nine months. I've transferred to a school three hours away, so now we only see each other about twice a month (when we used to practically live together in the first few months), but we skype everyday. A few months ago we said we loved each other. I honestly love everything about my boyfriend, he has made my life so much better.
But, he has been mentioning that before next fall he wants to break-up, but remain friends. He says its not because of the distance or me, but because he wants the opportunity to find and date other people. He has even set an exact breakup date.
Over the past week I have had a really really hard time. I feel so inadequate. I feel like the only person I can talk to about it is him because I would sound so pathetic talking to someone else about being so in love with someone who plans to break up with me in a few months. Its just brought back all of my insecurities so much stronger. He has been good about it and listened to my feelings. He says he is a guy and just too young to feel as attached as I do. (I think crying in front of him did not help my case, and I don't want to make him feel guilty or anything).
I also want to be able to stay his friend. And I want him to be happy and find someone he can actually love. He deserves that. But right now I am I in so much pain and I would do anything to get him to want to stay with me.
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Credit: dominant-male.blogspot.com
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